Questions...

I am always questioning everything when it comes to being a parent. I don't just want to be a parent...I want to be an amazing, inspiring, loving and effective parent. A lot to live up to, right?

Mom says this has always been my personality. If I choose to do "it", whatever it may be, I do it to the very best of my ability, even if it takes every ounce out of me to achieve my goal. Believe me, I want to be the BEST. If I don't choose to do it, it's because I think I'm not good enough or it isn't enjoyable. Therefore, being the kind of parent that I want to be and that Justin seems to be naturally, takes a lot of effort, thought and deliberation.

Case in point, can you over-schedule a toddler? Lane isn't even 2 years and I keep his schedule on a calendar. I seriously can't remember from week to week where we are supposed to be and at what time. Gymnastics at 9:45, Kindermusic at 10:15, story time at 10:00, playgroup at 9 and which event is on which day?!?! It occurred to me this weekend that we have ONE free day each week. ONE!

Fortunately, we have been blessed with a very intelligent little boy who loves to learn and be active. Even more so, we have been blessed to be able to take advantage of the opportunities to challenge him intellectually, creatively and physically. But I wonder, are we setting the stage too high too early? Are we always going to be able to keep this pace and is this not going to create burnout? Is the variety of activities going to hinder him in school in a way that school might be boring and monotonous? And am I expecting too much or am I seriously over analyzing the situation. (Justin accuses me of this way too often which places more question in my mind. Vicious cycle!)

Regardless, Lane is a very busy, happy little boy. For now, he loves every activity and excels at each one. He sang a full song to me today. I love to hear his voice and watch his little mind at work. I also feel such pride when everyone, and I do mean everyone, compliments Lane on his manners, behavior or advancements. I can't help but thank God a million times a day for such a precious little gift and for more guidance everyday to be the kind of parent He commands and also that Lane deserves.

No pictures this week, we're too busy going and doing to break out the camera. I just had a lot on my mind today and this became my outlet. Hope everyone is well and happy!

Much love,

Nikki

My My My!!

Where has the summer gone?!?! I can't believe that is the last day of August and I also can't believe that I dressed Lane is long pants and a sweatshirt today! 57 degrees this morning!

Where do I start? Well, July flew by like a whirl wind and I don't remember August...I have no idea why. I know we had lots of fun! We have made some great friends here in Terre Haute and have been playing with everyone frequently. Lane is surrounded by girls. Everyone in gymnastics are girls, everyone at church are girls...he has three female cousins! He is turning out to be quite the lady's man. But where are the boys!!!

Most recently we visited our friends and family in Texas for Mom's birthday. The first part of the trip was spent with Justin's family. Our sweet niece Kalista was such a wonderful big "cousin" to Lane. We took the kids to eat at chick-fil-A and she told me not to worry about Lane b/c she was going to take care of him and that I needed to just "sit back and relax". I just can't squeeze her enough!!! All the cousins were great! They swam and rode four wheelers and played until Lane simply couldn't go anymore.

Then it was off to MiMi's for her...shhhh - 60th birthday party!!!! Wow, was it hot!!! Our other sweet sweet niece, Anna, was flushed the moment she got out of the car! The kids had to eat ice just to stay cool. My brother and I have moved our kids out of the hot and dry Texas to a much nicer climate in Colorado and Indiana....now we can't take the heat! :) I didn't feel too bad b/c people who lived there were also melting away.

We had so much fun in Lampasas. We stayed in a cabin outside town and had quite the adventure. We woke up to deer in our back yard every morning. Lane and Anna were together day in and day out. It really made me rethink multiple children. :) Just kidding!! They both are such wonderful kids but they somehow inherited the "Bockmon" independence and "I CAN DO IT MYSELF" attitude. All I can say is, "I'm soooo sorry Mom!" But if you put things into perspective, I did not bring myself into this world...and after having Bryan, you should have learned your lesson. But I digress...

We went swimming, played on tractors, drove the bobcat, had a little nature walk, took my new car muddin', and spent some great quality time with family.

And yes, I did say new car. Justin finally convinced me to get rid of my perfect in every way car to a MOMMY MOBILE!! No, I am not driving a minivan! I simply made the move to an SUV, which those of you who know me well know exactly what kind of sacrifice I have made. (Can you hear the bitterness in my words?? If not, there is a LOT!) I must say that Justin was very considerate and allowed me to choose each and every option I wanted. :) hehe

Lane is full of words now. Justin and I have to be very careful with our words now b/c they are being repeated with a vengeance. He is finally over the "moving trauma" that affected his speech and is making up for lost time. He is so focused on "Right there, Over there, Back there" that we are breaking our necks to see whats "there". His favorite phrase to repeat is, "my, my, my"....this is my frustration phrase.

I have always known he was paying attention to everything even though he wouldn't vocalize it and now it is showing. I have backed off on the enunciation sessions. He over enunciates EVERY WORD. For example, truck is no longer a simple "truck", it is truck t-t-t or baNNNNNaaNNa. My mom thinks he will have a stuttering problem thanks to me. :)

He can read his books and tell me the story and I absolutely love when he starts to sing. His favorite time to sing is during his afternoon snack...he doesn't stop long enough to actually eat his snack. After a few songs I ask him to eat and then we can sing again. :)

Sorry this was so long....this is what happens when I miss two months! :) There are more pics on facebook...Hope all is well!!!

Much love,

Nikki